Life is what life is

We do the best

We can

And history

Law

Government

Society decides

But what about

Things that the above

Minimalisms

Is there something more?

Is there a spiritual element?

Is there a mystical/magically element?

In life we do the best we can

There was a time

Whether it was the best of times

Or the worst of times

Or just neutral…

At least I was much younger…

Age is the crucial factor…

The worst of times

When we are young

Last a brief time

Youth and quick recovery

Are hand in hand

Age, that is old age

And topical arthritis creams

Are hand to hand

Or rather tube

To hand

To affected spot

And the trial of dealing

With emotion

There is no known topical

For that…

Who ever said youth

Is wasted on the young

Don’t expect light

The world is full of darkness

Light does exist

But lately seems to be overwhelmed

We must hold to the light we find

Don’t expect light

The world is full of darkness

Light does exist

But lately seems to be overwhelmed

We must hold to the light we find

Allow me my place

Show mw a modicum of

Respect

I am not you

I am not the one who is not you

I’m someone else

You have never met someone like me

You have never conceived of someone like me

You probably fear that someone like me exists

There once was a girl from Madrid

Who bought a high quality lid

The high was insane

But the bucks where a drain

Spring has sprung

The lilac is blooming

The spring flowers

Have bloomed

But I am still

Stuck

In the doldrums of winter

My soul is still frozen

Perhaps it’s

Just old age

Or maybe

The classic poem

The road not taken

Give me a brake

Never that simple

Just two choices

Life is just

Not that simple

I am or might be

At a cross roads

And the options are

More then I can understand

As days reach into night

Call me sick

Call me whatever

But I prefer night

Strangely

I prefer night

The cancelled

The less then revealed

The partially secret

There once was a man from New York

Who dined on barbecue pork

Although he dressed well

Fixed his hair with some gel

The cold of late fall

Is upon me

The dread of winter

The months and years pass

Almost as fast as the leaves of fall

Pass outside my window

Some are a lovely gold

Some a beautiful red

And some a dismal brown

Much like the years that have passed

But with the years

Life ‘tis what it ‘tis

We struggle against it

We complain about it

But the bottom line is

We must accept it

Because the alternatives

Not stated here

But you know what they are

We’re all adults here

I am at low ebb

The tide line is an infinite distance from the shore

For what reason

People protect me from what I should know

When

It’s not there

It’s not there

When

It is there

It is there

Today

It wasn’t there

Tomorrow it might be

Life

Is what it is

Don’t try to understand

I am more tired

More in pain

Then I ever would have though

My body is dying

Is in distress

I falling apart as I speak

But the spirit

My soul

That which defines me

Is stronger

Is more alive

My weirdness is confirmed

On many levels

This should be

One of a handful

Of the worst

Days

Of my life

And yet

It may prove

In the long run

To be

One

Wait for it

Wait for the drum roll

Watch for the sound of the horns

Woodwinds responding

Will the strings respond?

Will the conductor

Wave his button

Today

This point in time

Was not

The best day

Maybe not the worst

But not the best

A few incidents were nice

Comforting

Even special

But by enlarge

The day

Well

‘Tis winter now

The snow and cold

Invade my bones

Invade my soul

I am a creature

Of heat

Of warmth

Of fair weather

But fate

Chance

And just plain

Poor planning

Has placed me

In a spot

A place

A time

Where weather

Changes

Is seasonal

And for a certain time of the year

Despite all the problems

Despite all the pain

Despite all the all…

I find myself in a

Gentle place

Age

And putting up with

All the putting up with

Has taught me to

Disconnect

If I had learned that

Days/months/years ago

I would not have

Had to disconnect

Life is what it is

From the womb

We have no promise of happiness

From the womb

We have no promise of wealth

From the womb

We have no promise of long life

From the womb

We are what we are

We take and give and receive what

We didn’t want

Life is what it is

It sucks

But then

Is there really anything else

A dank

Dreary

Damp

Late fall day

It bothers

Me more

As I get older

Then it once did

But all of the pain

Is not

Simply

Physical

I struggle

With a pain

That

Seeks to overwhelm me

It won’t

Been there

Survived

That

But

This time

Still need

I will not do that again

I will never ask again

It’s your loss not mine

Your mistake

Not mine

If you fail to see that

Then your fault

Not mine

But I forgive

I tried to re-connect

And you acted like the error

Was all mine

Okay

I accept the fault

Even if I know the fault is

Yours

I will walk away

With no regrets

But it is your loss

I sit here

Waiting

Waiting for the

Purpose of why

I’m here

Why I exist

To reveal

Itself

But I fear that

It has

Come and gone

And I failed to

Recognize

The

Allow me to be

What I am

If not then I will

Hunt you down with dogs

Accept me

And I will accept you

Reject me

So anyways just

Why?

Why am I what I

Am?

And why does what happen to me

Happen?

Life is what it is

Why?

I have many questions

And few answers

A limerick I’ve tried to write

But can’t get it down or tight

As much as I try

It’s week and dry

I stand in the shower

My head against the wall

15” below the showerhead

Allowing the water

That could boil a lobster

To do it’s healing work

On my traps and back

That have been punished by

Way too much seat time

On the forklift

This week

And hours to come

On the ‘morrow

But the real truth

Is

That as the hot water

Pelts down on my body

The stress and frustration

Of the week

Disappears with the physical

I am one

Body, soul and spirit

When one is in distress

The rest of me follows

Suit

(I realize that this is probably unfinished

That several lines needed to be added

So some reasonable conclusion is

Reached

But at the moment

Those thoughtful

Lines

Escape me )

Time is both

Ethereal

And

Real

The passing of time is

Both

Real and

Unreal

It is at the

Same time

Mundane

And philosophical

And I am way to tired

Way to spent

Mentally, spiritual

And emotionally

To deal with it

Right now

But I

Though thru the gloom

There is still a ray of hope

Though thru the darkest hour

There is still hope

When everything is black and hopeless

There is still a ray of light

Call me a fool

Why

Oh why

Is it?

When I am at my lowest

Physically

It seems that my muses

Are

At their highest level

It seems that when strength evades me

My mind and the spiritual

Are at their

I will continue

To be

Who I am

I really have

No choice

Change is

Relative

Even if I do

Make

Major changes

In reality

I remain

Who I’ve always been

And to think that

I can be

What I’ve never been

Is ludicrous

In the days of my discontent

In the days of my disbelief

In the days of my sorrow

Misery, and pain

Still a sliver of light

A brief glance of hope

The smallest hint that

Better days are coming

Whether truth or fiction

I do not know

But I hold on to the

Slimmest thread

That tomorrow

Or one of the tomorrows

Will be better

Then today

I sit

At my computer

A fine glass

Of bourbon

Just inches from

My left hand

But my

Mood is

Less then

Good

It should be

All is well

Right now

But the crappy

Workday

Change that

Crappy workdays

Intrudes

And the only thing

To console me

Is the bourbon

And my cats

I truly need

A life

But have not the energy

To reconnect

My ex

Has

Why?

Why is it?

That everyone knows

Me

Knows what I am

Knows what I do

Better then I do

And feels free

To instruct me

To scream at me

To call me a fool

When

In truth

They haven’t

Clue one

(pause)

Before you deem

Yourself an expert

In me

Walk a few steps in my shoes

Deal with what

I deal with

Frankly deal with

You

From my perspective

And if you still

Think

You can be me

Better the I can

Then let’s trade

Places

For

A

Day

And let me scream at you…

(hehe)

What is life?

Really

Despite the fact

That I’ve been

In what we call life

For many years

What is it?

Really

The true curse of being human

0f being human

Is being smarter then everyone

You

Deal with

Or simple being more

Arrogant

From my stand point

It’s the first

And from every one

Else’s it’s the

Second

But frankly

Who do you truly believe

Yourself

Or some ignorant fool

(hehe)

Tis late

Tis a day when

I

Would have

Forgotten

Dismissed

And moved on to the

Next day

If that was an option

Not the day

Yesterday was

That was

A very nasty

Day

Physically

Today was

A neutral day

I really hate

Neutral

Days

Let me feel something

Positive or

Negative

But days

I feel nothing

Love me, or hate me

For what I am

Leave me or

Be my best friend

Hold me tenderly

Or throw me out

But don’t expect me

I have been

Reminded

It has been

Reinforced

That the more things

Change

The more they actually remain

The same

Peeps I haven’t seen in

Decades

Are older and grayer but

The same

So much

For the concept

Of

I have retreated to a small place tonight

Back to time when responsibility was something

That was what my parents took care off

But wasn’t something I understood…

Sometimes it is necessary for us

To step out of what

Society demands of us

I am in one of the crazy moods

One of those moods that I can’t remove

My body is ready for sleep, repose

If you look

At the world

Through your own eyes

You see

What you want

To see

But if you can

Step aside

For a brief moment

And look through

The eyes of another

A friend or a foe

You may actually

See the world

I must accept

What age

What diminished

Abilities

Has left me

I should be headed to bed

To sleep

To rest

To dream

But the stress

The worries

The pain of the day

Even the joy of the day

It’s late

A little Tchaik 5

On the CD player

I’m tired

Or am I

The body

Is ready for

Sleep

For repose

For the unconscious

Rest

Which we

Call

Sleep

But is the rest of me

Ready for

The weird dreams

For the stiffness

That the

Sleep of

An old man

Brings

I think not

But I must

As the body demands

Condemns

And I do mean condemns

Myself to sleep

As much as I

Regret the side

Effects

I must sleep

It seems that the order of life

Those things that can be counted on

Are somewhat askew

Winter here is by rote

Cold…very cold

With snow plied as high as the eye can see

But this winter…

Not a winter but an

Extended fall

And my life…

Such as it is…

‘Twas the night before

The night before

Christmas

And all through the house

Several creatures were stirring

And all of them cats

I had wished that the stirring

Was a well-shaped blond

But then again

At my age

It is insane

Crazy

Down right stupid

And dumb

Despite all my problems

Despite the fact

That

Physically

I feel

Like

I’ve been drug through a knothole

Backwards

I feel

Fine

Better than fine

I feel

Normal

Of course

Normal

For

Me

It’s late

It’s way past the time for repose

But my mind whirls

As my body decays

You’d think

That

Body, mind

And spirit

Would act as

One

But the truth is

And always will be

That one

Fights

Incessantly

Against

The

Other

Life is a maelstrom of

Doubt

Stress

Disbelief

And sheer boredom

Only a fool believes

That he

Is

In control of his fate

And

I

Am such

A

The mind restlessly searches

The body fears the search

As it has grow far

Too old to

Follow the minds desires

And yet while it acknowledges

The body’s limitations

The mind

Continues it's

relentless pursuit

I am as it were

Two people who inhabit the same body

The physical, which admits my inabilities

And the mental, emotional, spiritual

Which ignores them

I am a private man

A solitary man

By choice

As well as by fate

I both

Chose

And not chose

To live alone

A paradox probably

But

None the less

True

But everyone

Seems

To assume that I’m fine with that

When I'm not

Well not always

True

Most of the time

I am

I seek for release

I seek for release from the problems that now require my attention

I truly desire release

I true desire an end to the problem

But I have no power

No magic spell

No secret potion

The ball is in some one else’s court

I loved them once

Or at least was in lust

I thought well mistakenly

That they felt the same

I thought a reasonable person

One who at least

Shared a common goal

What I fool I was

I believed

I trusted

I had faith in another

How dumb was that

I stand to lose nothing

Which matters

Except

My ability to trust

Nothing makes sense

Anymore

But the fact that I know

Or at least I hope someday it will

I really don’t care

What the “end game” might bring

I just wish that

I think that cats are the prefect animals

They do no work

They sleep

Purr

And eat

And yet so-called intelligent animals like me

Let them get away with it

I would seek the place of quiet

I would seek the place of peace

My soul

My inner being

Would seek it gladly

If it only

Truly

Inherently

I search for the silence

I search for the place of peace and

Quiet

My soul requires it

Demands it

Seeks it with every waking breath

But it is the one place

Despite my best efforts

I wander though the experience called life

I have no map

No real plan

No real understanding of the path I should take

I make my choices on the basis of

Whim

Chance

And sexual attraction

Life is a journey they say

But for me

Life is an endless

Series of choices

I don’t think that it matters

What you chose

As long

It’s way too hot

It’s way too humid

It’s nut’s I know

But I’ll take

Cold

I mean sub-zero

Cold

Crazy wind chills

Over heat

Humidity

Sweat

And exhaustion

Any day

In

The

Week

Poetry

Probably not

But it’s

My blog

My definition

Live with

It

Or hit the dang “X”