Mistakes
I'm prone to them

I am after all human
despite my best attempts to deny
that fact

I am
irritated by my humanity

I am
irritated by my faults

despite the fact
that that is
the very proof
that I am alive

that I recognize
my weakness

that I recognize
my need to grow
to mature
to develop

and despite all that
I resent it

I truly do

a new sheet of paper
a blank sheet
a fresh page
waiting
for a poem
a story
even a grocery list

ah
if only life
was as simple

the mind struggles
to make sense
of what should be
obvious

maybe it's old age
maybe it it's disbelief
as is
this can't be happening to me

or maybe
it isn't
obvious

or maybe
there is
no rhyme or reason

a random
unexplainable
event

yet the logic
of the mind
cannot
accept

even if it
does
leave me
and it
(that is the mind)
off the proverbial
hook

winter is upon us
cold
invades
the body

chilling us even
to the very roots
of our being

the soul seeks
a
glimmer of light
of heat
of warmth
of anything
that is not
frozen

the mind knows
winters time
is
limited

but the soul
feels
IT
will last

f
o
r
e
v
e
r

in the darkness he waits
watches
seen yet unseen
known yet not known
expected but not understood
longed for but never found
yet someday
sometime
somewhere
he will be made know
cross my path
and be understood
but for now
fate
waits

exhaustion
the world intercedes to much
stress
overwhelms the strength of spirit
emotions
overflow my limits
distress
abounds like rivers of water
hope
exists but is quite small
relief
will come it must, it always has
new love
is both wished for and abhorred

i
know
you're my friend

i
know
you want to help

but you can't


i
don't
really understand it myself

so
how
can i explain it to you

i
try
very hard

but i can't

just
leave
me be

i'm almost well

but
every
time, i'm forced to repeat it

i
relive
it again

i
sink
back into the blackness

if
you
are my friend

please leave me alone

this
is
something
i
must
do alone...............

so
please
don't ask

i
probably
know less then you

yes
it's
happening to me

but
i'd
really rather forget

i've
gone
over it a hundred times

and
it
never makes sense

and
i
doubt it ever will

so
please
don't ask

i'm tired
dead on my feet
but sleep won't come

like the ghosts of charles d
my thoughts
of past mistakes
present problems
future worries
parade thru my mind

i try to avoid them
but like
machines
of
fate
they
roll on unabated

too noisy to ignore
too relentless to avoid

but calm will come
and with it sleep
it must